How Can Parents Accelerate Their Child’s Language Development at Home-Part Three

Teaching language to children with autism and other developmental delays can be very rewarding.  You can often sense that your child wants to be able to tell you more than he/she knows how.  Once your child has learned to mand for items as described in the previous two posts, Part One and Part Two of this series, you can begin to expand their vocabulary with attributes (adjectives) related to their desirable items.  Remember that language development and expansion can be done with all types of communication styles-sign, verbal, pictures or communication devices.  All of the activities I am writing about may be adjusted up or down based on your child’s abilities.

If your child is in school it is a good idea to coordinate with your child’s teacher and/or speech therapist so that you are all working on the same or similar attributes.  It is a good idea to pick items that they are naturally drawn to or have an affinity for to increase the child’s motivation.  Again, the same rule applies that once a child has learned to ask for items by a certain attribute you want to continue to require the use of the attribute to gain access.  For example, if your child has learned to request “square cracker”, “circle cracker” and “triangle cracker” you want them to continue to request in that manner because it is at a higher level than just plain “cracker”.

When you begin teaching attributes you only want to start with three in a category The most common are size (small, medium and large), shape (square, triangle, circle), color (black, red, blue), texture(smooth, soft, bumpy) and number(1,2,3). You can substitute in any attribute, especially if you see that your child has an affinity for a certain item that posses a certain attribute.  If you lay out 10 different colored crayons and your child does not yet know colors he/she will likely become overwhelmed and behaviors will often creep in.  When you are teaching new skills, you always want to present a minimum of three items because with only two choices there is too high of a likelihood of getting a correct answer by guessing.

Toys and art supplies are a great way to teach attributes.  Place the items on the table in front of your child, but out of reach. For example, if your child likes to draw place a stack of paper and 3 different colored markers on the table.  When you child requests paper using his/her form of communication repeat the verbal label and give them a piece of paper.  When you child requests the marker.  Say, “Yes this is a marker, we have 3 choices of marker today, ‘black marker’ (hold it up), ‘red marker’ (hold it up) and ‘blue marker’ (hold it up).  Which one would you like?”  If your child picks up on the cue quickly, you can give him/her the requested marker(s) with lots of praise.  If not, move in a little closer and either pick one you know he/she likes the color of or see which one he/she grabs for and reinforce the label with the adjective, ‘red marker”’.  When the child attempts to put the two words together, sign them together, find the correct picture symbols or push the correct button on their communication devise, praise him/her and hand him/her the red marker, again repeating the verbal label.

Another example we can draw from the natural environment of your child may be playing with Legos.  You can work on shape, color, size or color with Legos.  For this example, I will illustrate size (small medium and large).  Tell your child it is time to go play Legos and sit on the floor or at the table with your child with the container of Legos.  We are going to assume for this example that your child knows how to mand for Legos.  This time when you child mands for Legos, follow the same procedure above and say, “Yes, Legos!  Today we have small Lego (hold up a small piece of Lego), medium Lego (hold up a medium piece of Lego) and large Lego (hold up a large piece of Lego).  If you child catches on quickly you can give him the different sizes he/she requests with lots of praise and verbal reinforcement.  If your child does not and just keeps manding for Lego.  Hold up a small Lego and say, sign, hold up picture card or push button on communication device for “small Lego”.  When your child attempts to ask for the item, praise and give him/her the item.  Depending on your child’s cognitive level and form of communication an approximation In the beginning is great progress, so praise and give the item and then continue to work on clear annunciation, definitive sign and correct picture symbol or technology device button association.

Many parents I have worked with have really enjoyed these language development activities with their child.  Not only are you working on essential language development but you are also interacting with your child in a meaningful way.  If you feel uneasy about working with your child on language development, I encourage you to ask your child’s teacher or speech therapist if you could observe some sessions at school.  I have had several parents do this and I know it gave them more confidence to work on the skills at home.  I also saw a huge increase in a child’s manding repertoire and speech productivity (for those able to speak) when both the school and parents were working together.  If you are looking for more information on Verbal Behavior and manding, I highly recommend the book, The Verbal Behavior Approach .Click here to view it and read reviews on the book.

How Can Parents Accelerate Their Child’s Language Development at Home-Part Two

Teaching language to children with autism and other developmental delays can significantly decrease behavior issues at home.  When children cannot communicate their basic needs and wants, they tend to become very frustrated.  Most children with autism or other developmental delays can learn to communicate, whether they are verbal or not.  In the previous post, I explained what manding is and how you could start to increase your child’s manding behavior.
One very important aspect of mand training is that once your child has learned to request an item in a certain format you do not ever want the child to gain access to that item unless he/she uses that same format or a more advanced format.  For example, if your child learns to ask for bubbles in the bath by using the sign for ‘bubbles’, he/she should not get bubbles for pointing or grabbing .  At a minimum, he/she needs to make the correct sign.  If your child has verbal abilities, the next step would be to teach him/her to say the word, “bubbles”.  Once the child learns the word “bubbles”, you would never go back to accepting the sign in order for the child to gain access.  The next step would be teaching the child to make a full request, such as, “I want bubbles”.  Again, your child would need the full request to gain this access.  This building block approach helps the child understand that full requests are what are needed to gain access to desired items.
No matter what language system you are using with your child, consistency is important.  For this reason, I suggest creating a notebook or using a white board to indicate what mands the child has acquired and is currently working on so that all caregivers will know the expectations.  If your son/daughter realizes he/she can get away with pointing to an item when he/she is with grandma instead of signing or verbalizing he/she will most likely revert to that less sophisticated format.
The reality is that setting up your home to promote more opportunities to mand will take some time and effort but when you see your child’s vocabulary grow and their ability to transfer the skills to other environments grow you will feel like it was all worth it.  Let’s look at another example of a home routine that you can regularly use to increase manding-snack time.  If you have other children this is a way they can easily be integrated into the manding and can be used as a model for your child with language delays.  It is also a great way to work on manners.
It is best to set up the rule that snack is eaten at a table and everyone has to be sitting in order to get their snack.   If possible, you should sit across from your child(ren).  Place the snack items on the table in front of you.  In the beginning, especially, use items your child highly desires.  It is best to have a least two drink choices and two or three snack choices.  When you are giving out a drink that is requested use a small cup and only give your child a very small amount of liquid.  This requires him/her to ask again rather than filling their cup up once. The same thing goes for the snack-give one piece of apple, one mini cookie, one spoonful of pudding, one goldfish, etc.  Start your mand sessions for new activities with your child’s current mode of communication-signing, speaking, pictures or a technology device.  Initially, the child just needs to label the item.  If they do not know the label, teach them using their communication mode and expect them to use that form to gain access.  After you are sure they know several different labels, you can require a sentence such as , “I want apple.”  It is best to incorporate the manners of saying, “please” and” thank you” after this stage of training.  Your neurotypical children or other adults can really help with modeling for sentences and manners.
If you notice your child is only asking for one item and you want to expand their language, take then item away as a choice by moving it off the table.  If your child requests it again, you can say something like, “We’re all done with pretzels for today, you may choose goldfish or fruit snack”. If they do not request either of the other items and/or throw a fit, so not give them pretzels and make sure that the next day pretzels is not an option.  Remember that any time you change the way you do routines, you are likely to experience some resistance and maybe even complete meltdowns.  The most important factor for you to remember is to hold strong and not give-in to your child’s inappropriate behavior because he/she will then learn that throwing a fit is the way to get what he/she wants.
Please let me know your experiences with attempting to increase your child’s mands by commenting on this post.  In the next post in this series, I will discuss how you can teach your child attributes such as colors, numbers, shapes, sizes and more while working on manding skills.

How Can Parents Accelerate Their Child’s Language Development at Home-Part One

Teaching language to children with autism and other developmental delays can be very challenging and very rewarding.  Parent involvement in this process can accelerate learning and decrease frustration levels at home.  There are many ways that you can help your child develop their communication skills within the natural environment of your home and community. I am going to write a series of posts on this topic as this is a complex topic and I want to break it down into a way that you can practice what I’ve shared with you, we can discuss it in the comments section and then we can move on to more advanced skills.

All children need to learn to communicate their basic needs and desires to the fullest extent possible.  This, of course, looks very different for children with varying degrees of special needs.  There are many different ways that children with special needs learn to communicate. The most common formats are communicating verbally, communicating through sign language and gestures, communicating through some form of technology and communicating through pictures.  If your child is receiving services at home, privately or through the school, it is a good idea to discuss language development and include it in your child’s Individualized Family Service Program (IFSP) or IEP (Individualized Education Program). It is most beneficial to the child, especially early in life, that everyone is working on the same form of communication.  There may be periods of assessment and trial of varying types of communication systems to see what your child’s abilities and proclivities are leaning toward.

One of the best ways to begin teaching your child to communicate beyond imitation of a word or sign is through teaching him/her to mand.  B.F. Skinner coined the term, mand, in his 1957 book, Verbal Behavior.  In simplified terms, a mand is a request.  One of the reasons why manding is a good place to start language development and language expansion is that the mand is based on the child’s motivation to attain something desirable or remove something undesirable.  When children do not have language skills they often act out behaviorally and the people around them have to guess at what they want or do not want, much as you do with a crying infant.

Understanding that your child’s acting out behavior is often a manifestation of not being able to communicate his/her needs and wants effectively is helpful and often motivating for parents of children with special needs. Let me help you understand more clearly how we as adults use mands in our day-to-day life. We may ask for a desired item through saying, “May I have a cup of coffee?”  We may ask about a missing item through saying, “May I please have a knife to cut my steak?”  We may ask for information through saying, “What time is soccer practice today?”  We may ask for assistance through saying, “Can you please give me directions to get to the beach?”  We may ask for attention through saying, “May I have a hug?”  We may ask for an action by saying, “Follow me.”  We may also ask for the removal of something undesirable by saying, “Please turn your music down.” or “Please change the channel I can’t stand gory movies”  These are all forms of mands that your child can learn whether he/she uses verbal language, sign language, pictures or technology to communicate.

So, how can you teach your child to mand at home without setting up formal manding sessions?  Think about your daily routines at home with your child-meal times, snack time, playing time, reading time, bath time, etc.  After you have identified some key times in your daily routine that your child enjoys, the most important thing to do is figure out how to deny open access to the desirable items associated with that routine.  If your child has been allowed to play with any toy within their reach or eat any item in the snack bin or pick any book off the shelf for you to read there is going to be an adjustment period when you put those items out of reach, so expect some behavior.  Your child will quickly learn that he/she has to request to get what they want.  Using other children or adults in the environment as models is often helpful when you beginning this process.

Let’s use bath time as an example.  For the sake of this example, we are going to assume your child loves bath time.  If your child is nonverbal, the prep time is a little more time intensive because you have to learn the signs, create or find the pictures or input the items into the communication device, but it is worth the time and effort.  What are the basic items associated with bath time? They might be some of the following items; the water, bubbles, toy boats, plastic cups, squishy sponges, soap, fish toys and a soft towel.  Although you could get your child to mand for turning on the water and filling the tub, we are going to assume that the tub has water in it at the appropriate temperature and you are going to tell your child that it is bath time.  He/she runs into the bathroom and you help them undress, if necessary, and get into the tub.  All of the desirable items he/she is used to having already in the water or close by are not there.  They are either sitting on the counter with the sink or in a clear container by the tub.  Initially your child needs to be able to see them.  If your child reaches for something, point at something or tries to get out to get something you can ask, “What do you want?” If your child knows the label for the item then he/she can make the sign, point to the picture or use the verbal name for the item.  You would then give him/her the item and say, “Oh you want the boat, here you go” and give them the boat to play with.  If your child does not know the label for boat, but reaches for the boat, you would block them, hold up the item and use the verbal label (and the sign or picture if that is their communication form); the child then needs to repeat the label in their format and then you would give them the item.  This process continues for all the items they desire during the bath time.  You are reinforcing your child with the desirable item when they communicate their desire for it. This same type of process can be used for any other daily routines you have in your home. You will be amazed at how quickly your child learns that he/she has to request using their primary form of communication and you will also expand your child’s vocabulary.

Now that I have presented the groundwork for what manding is and given you an example of how to incorporate this into one of your daily routines, I am going to give you a day or two to try it with something that works for you and your child.  Let me know in the comments section how it goes and what questions you have.  In part two of this series of posts.  I will give you more specific examples and answer any questions you post in the comment section.

Do You Think Children With Special Needs Should Get Homework?

Should a child with special needs get homework?  There are many different schools of thought on this issue. Some people believe that all children with special needs should get homework to teach them a sense of responsibility and accountability.  Some people that children with learning differences struggle enough at school and that their parents shouldn’t have to fight that battle at home, too.  Some people believe that homework should be dependent on what a child completes (or does not complete) at school.  Some people believe it depends on what the child’s disability is-many children with special needs have average to above average intelligence and that should dictate homework.  At any rate, there is not a clear-cut answer.

If you, as a parent, think your child should get homework, should not get homework or should get modified homework, it needs to be discussed at the IEP meeting.  Homework should be determined on a case-by-case basis in the accommodations and modifications section of the IEP.  As children get older, this becomes more and more important.  If you do not see anything written into the IEP about homework and you have concerns regarding homework, do not be nervous about bringing it up as an issue that needs to be discussed, agreed upon and written into the IEP.

I know that homework can be a nightmare for all parents, but even more so for parents of children with special needs.  I communicated my homework policy to the parents of my students with emotional and behavioral disabilities in a way that the parents knew it was an expectation, but if the homework session turned into a huge battle and was escalating behavior, they could stop and write me a note about why the homework was not completed.  This was easier to do when I was teaching elementary students than when I was teaching secondary students.  I never assigned something that would leave the child behind if he/she did not finish it.  My students knew there were consequences for not doing their homework but it was handled at school.

I have to say I was surprised, at first, that some of the parents of children with Autism in my Kindergarten classroom were already asking for homework for their child by Back to School Night (which is usually within the first two weeks of school).  Some parents wanted to reinforce what their child was learning at school because they knew this would likely help their child to be more successful at school.  Other parents told me it helped create an afternoon or evening schedule.  Others told me that they wanted their child with Autism to be doing homework while their other child(ren) were doing homework.  I found that doing a home/school journal was great way to help my students with Autism work on their writing skills as well as a tool to learn things about what was happening in their home life so we could discuss it.  This allowed us to question the children that were verbal and help them use conversation skills and allowed us to include the children that were nonverbal so they felt more a part of the group.  Each child was given the level of prompting and support he/she needed to be successful.  Some students copied what their parent of teacher wrote, some traced what their parent or teacher wrote, some used a computer, some wrote on their own with a little coaching and some were able to complete this task independently.  I noticed a huge change in their handwriting abilities, discussion abilities and their willingness to write.

In my opinion, homework should not be new material, especially for children with learning differences.  Homework is meant to either extend the learning of a concept presented in school or reinforce a concept learned at school.  When I was a teacher of children with special needs, I always tried to plan my homework assignments carefully.  Children with special learning needs have a significantly higher need for repetition and getting some of that through homework assignments, when possible and appropriate, is a good thing.

What is your opinion about homework for your child with special needs?  Should they get what everyone else gets?  Should it be modified?  Should it depend on their cognitive level? Should it be something they can complete independently or should it be something you have to assist them with?   I would love to hear your opinions about homework.

How Parents Can Address the Most Common Frustrations With the IEP Process

Special Education Procedural Safeguards were placed into the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) to help school districts and parents work together for the common benefit of educating children with special needs. Unfortunately, this does not always happen.

Recently I asked several parents of children with special needs what the most frustrating thing about IEPs was for them. The most common themes in their answers fell into two main categories:

  • schools don’t include their (the parents) input in creating the IEP
  • schools don’t follow through with the program laid out in the IEP

Both of the frustrations raised by the parents I polled can be addressed through looking more closely at the procedural safeguards laid out in IDEA.

In regards to the first issue of parental input, there are several important points that parents need to understand. First, you are a member of the IEP Team and your opinion and insight should be seriously considered during the development of the IEP. Considered does not mean that they have to implement everything you want or suggest but you should feel like you are being listened to and that your suggestions are being incorporated into the goals and objectives and/or accommodations. Second, when you walk into an IEP meeting the document that the school places in front of you is a “working document”, which means that things can be changed, added or deleted. If the school ever tells you they have designed the IEP without your input, they are not following the process correctly. Third, if you are not in agreement with the IEP at the end of the meeting or you need more time to review the IEP before signing, you do not have to sign that you agree to the program. You may request to take a copy of the working document home to read more thoroughly. Fourth, it is important for parents to understand that their child is entitled to a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). The key word in this acronym is “appropriate”. Appropriate does not mean the best, the most popular or even the most scientifically sound. School districts are not required to provide your child with a certain type of therapy or use a certain curriculum because it is what you or even an expert thinks is what is best.

One of the procedural safeguards afford to you is that you have the right to request an independent educational evaluation of your child if you disagree with the evaluations the school district has conducted. If you feel that the evaluations conducted by the school district were not valid or reliable or missed the mark completely, it is your right to request that another independent evaluation be conducted at the school districts expense. In order for an independent evaluation to be granted, you have to have a good argument for why the one(s) conducted by the school were not adequate.

In regards to the second frustration about school districts not following through on IEPs, this is a significant compliance issue. In the USA, an IEP is a legal document based on federal and state laws. Once an IEP has been developed and signed by the parent, the program is to begin on the date indicated on the IEP. The reason for benchmarks and measurable objectives in the IEP are so that progress can be quantified through whatever form of documentation is indicated on the IEP. If you believe that certain parts of the IEP are not being followed through upon, another procedural safeguard afforded to you is that you have the right to inspect and review any of your child’s educational records. You have the right to ask for a review of any, and all, records; including teacher notes and data, specialists’ documentation of services delivered and data and email communication regarding your child.

If you feel like there has been a violation of any procedural safeguards, it is best practice to start a discussion with your child’s case manager to see if the issues can be resolved. It is in everyone’s best interest to work together as a team, but unfortunately, this does not always occur. If you do not feel the issues are resolved promptly with the case manager, write a letter to the Principal and the Director of Special Education listing your concerns and the steps you have followed in an attempt to get them resolved. You may ask for an IEP meeting to be set up to address the issues with the administrator present for the meeting. If all of this fails, another procedural safeguard granted to you is that you or the school district has a right to file a due process claim and a right to a hearing if there are disagreements regarding the IEP or IEP process. The school district should give you a Procedural Safeguards pamphlet for your state upon signing for an initial evaluation and once a year thereafter. If you do not have one in your possession, you may ask the case manager for one. The pamphlet will contain information about who to contact if you feel the need to file a due process and request mediation and/or a hearing.

Five Important Elements for Parenting Children With Special Needs

Parenting children with special needs is often exhausting, overwhelming and lonely as well as joyful, fun and rewarding. Most parents of children with special needs will tell you they need more patience, perseverance and support parenting their child (ren) with special needs than their neurotypical child (ren). Support and guidance is important for all parents and I encourage you to seek out connecting with other parents of children with special needs as this will likely help you feel less alone and isolated. Finding people who share our struggles and “get it”, no matter what the “it” is, is a helpful tool in many areas of our lives.

 
The basics of good parenting are the same no matter what your child’s needs are. Of course, you have to make adjustments based on your child’s level of cognition, understanding of cause and effect and physical abilities. All parents are faced with figuring out the best ways to support their child (ren) to becoming as successful, independent and happy as possible. Children who have special needs do require some different parenting techniques depending on what their disability is, however, the most important parenting skills to possess, or learn if you do not already posses, for all parents are:

  • how to set clear expectations about what is and is not acceptable behavior in your family and about consequences for inappropriate behavior
  • how to consistently address similar situations, different children within the family and between caregivers
  • how to instill a positive sense of self into your child
  • how to be loving and firm at the same time
  • how to ask for support, assistance and/or a break

A lack of clear expectations often leads to behavior problems, a lack of self-esteem and manipulation. All children need some sense of structure and clear expectations are a key part of that structure. I am an advocate of including your children in on the discussions about what is and is not acceptable behavior and what the consequences will be for exhibiting inappropriate behavior. Including your children, as they are able, in on this process helps them feel a sense of self-worth and that their opinion matters and leads to less issues with discipline because these were agreed upon principals. You should write down what your family expectations in positive language rather than negative language. For example, “Everyone will use respectful language” rather than “No cussing or swearing”. Some families like to post their expectations to remind everyone of what they are and some families just keep them somewhere in the house where they can be reviewed and amended as needed.

Consistency goes hand-in-hand with clear expectations. Children need to know that all caregivers will handle issues similarly. Children, all children, are masters at knowing what they can get away with, with different family members. This often creates issues between the primary caregivers, which can lead to significant relationship problems between spouses, partners and/or caregivers. Consistency cuts down on manipulation and cuts down on sibling issues. If your “typical” child sees that there are consequences for your child with special needs (albeit adjusted based on their disability) they are much less likely to feel jealous, angry and resentful toward their sibling with special needs.

 
All parents want their children to feel good about themselves and have a positive self-worth. Although, you may get overwhelmed and frustrated with multiple doctor’s appointments and therapy appointments make sure your child understands that this frustration is not directed at him or her. Many children internalize their parent’s negative feelings so it is important to be aware of that. Also, be careful about talking about any child present like they are not in the room. Often it is not parents or caregivers who do this but other family members, friends, and acquaintances who do not understand disabilities. This tends to occur quite often with children who are non-verbal and children who have cognitive delays. Do not let anyone assume that your child cannot understand what is being discussed. To hear build self-esteem, celebrate little steps for your child with special needs as if they were big steps, even if people in your family or friends think it is silly or unnecessary.

Being loving yet firm is a difficult yet important balancing act. Parents who are overly permissive and friendly to their children often experience similar behavioral issues with their children as parents who are too strict or rigid with their children. I have worked with many parents who have feelings of guilt about their child with special needs and overcompensate for that by never disciplining them or holding them accountable for their behavior. This is a huge mistake and will most likely lead to significant behavioral issues. Early in my career, I worked with a family who had a child with Cystic Fibrosis and they felt so badly that he would die young that they let him do virtually anything he wanted. He ended up in a classroom for children with behavior disabilities very soon after he started school because he thought rules did not apply to him. I know parents do not do things like this out of malice but out of misunderstanding. Managing all your children’s behaviors with loving firmness is the best practice.

All parents need to feel supported and need a break sometimes. Parents with children with special needs need more breaks and usually get fewer breaks. It is critical to have a couple people in your life that can cover for you, at least occasionally. I know many parents of children with special needs think other people will not be able to handle their child’s medical or behavioral issues but with a little training and discussing, it can be successful. It is in the best interest of everyone in the family for the primary caregiver(s) to be able to disengage (at least physically) occasionally. As I mentioned earlier in the post, connecting with other parents who have similar feelings and experiences helps immensely.

Tell me about your experiences with parenting your child (ren) with special needs and how it is different or similar to how your parent your “typical” child (ren).